


Just Like In Practice

by Artdefines06



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Dissassociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, Missing Scene, No Smut, Sexual Tension, how could they casually mention that this scene happened but not animate it, seriously missing scene, the title is terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8472247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artdefines06/pseuds/Artdefines06
Summary: Yuri is unable to perform Eros the same way he did in the Onsen on Ice exposition, and Victor is trying to figure out why. Confessions are made, and the truth is found out, which leads to a better way to practice and a stronger bond.I was shocked during episode five when Victor straight up told Yuri - “seduce me, just like you do in practice”. Where was that scene! Why didn’t we know this? Its an important scene and I NEED to see it. It bothered me all day yesterday, and since I am sick in bed today I decided to write it on my own.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work of fan-fiction. I am not an english major or a writer, although I have always enjoyed writing short stories for class. I didn’t worry too much about going too OOC, since I feel like there are many aspects of Victor and Yuuri’s personality we still have not seen. 
> 
> I would like to thank tumblr user mercymm and their side blog lit-yoi for putting more depth behind the terrible english subs I have to deal with. While I will use the subs for victor and yuri’s words, the intentions behind them are from here.

Yuuri launches into the quad salchow for the umpteenth time that day. Deep breath in, tighten your core, arms in, push up from the back outside edge, spot to the left. In his head he goes over the steps of the procedure, but he can already tell that he is slightly off, a hair of a second too slow to put his leg down after the 4th turn. The blade isn't flat on the ice yet when his outside leg kicks out, throwing him to the floor with its momentum. With a loud huff Yuuri pushes himself up off the cold ice. Guiltily he looks over at Victor, who is sitting with his arms crossed and a stern expression, watching him like a hawk with his piercing blue eyes. Yuuri doesn’t need to be told what went wrong because they had gone over the jump so many times, and Victor knows that, so he simply skates back to the left side to try again.

_“I won’t let you off easy - that’s my way of showing my love”_

Unbidden, echoes of yesterday’s conversation at the beach come back to him. To be honest they haven’t left his mind in the last 24 hours. Yuuri isn't sure they ever will. Like a mp3 on repeat they play over and over until the lines begin to blur together.

_“What do you want me to be to you?”_

Then, the words from the frantic 2 a.m. email he wrote to his composer spring to mind. Words he wishes he could write in the sky for all to see and simultaneously delete from existence.

 _“I’ve found someone who makes me want to be more than I am. Someone who is able to get me to face myself and the world without fear. Someone who trusts me, and is asking me to trust him in return. I’m skating for him now as much as for myself, and that needs to be a part of my program because this feeling is a part of my every breath._ _I cannot explain it in words out loud yet, but maybe in music…”_

He was sure she would understand. She had understood the first time when he was finally able to explain what skating meant to him. The feeling of single handedly struggling to climb up Mt. Fuji, panting and hurting yet rewarded with crisp air and fresh snow once reaching the top. She had understood, but it wasn’t enough for a full program and they both knew it, had both been frustrated by the incomplete feeling of it. Maybe now she could get the music just right, and Victor would be able to hear the whole of Yuuri’s complicated and confusing feelings.

Yuuri shakes his head - now is not the time to be thinking these thoughts. He needs to concentrate on getting this jump right so he could execute Victor’s vision properly for the world to enjoy. This time the speed, rotation, and landing were great, but he gets so surprised at doing it right that he forgets to control his free leg and is thrown just slightly off balance at the end, but he is counting it as a win. If he can land it three times in a row they can move onto something else.

 

Victor tries in vain to hide the fourth yawn in the past half-hour. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Yuuri heading back to the left side of the rink to gather speed to try the quad salchow again. It was getting slightly stronger each time, but Victor is so bored he is about to scream. Suddenly he stands up. “Enough!” he shouts out, loud enough that Yuuri staggers a bit in his haste to stop and face him.

“You are much stronger at the quad than you were last week. It will be easier in the context of the program. You will do Eros, full out, right now.”

He notices Yuuri stiffen up immediately and drop his head into one of those automatic half bows that irritate Victor immensely. Unfortunately Yuuri is in the middle of the ice and Victor doesn’t have his skates on, so there is nothing he can do about the instinctual need to straighten Yuuri’s shoulders and lift his chin. Victor sighs as he places the CD into the player and looks up to see that Yuuri that is in place to begin, so he presses play. While the CD spins to life, Victor’s eyes trace the beautiful lines of Yuuri’s body; his front skate angled so that his leading leg opens suggestively, his hip jutting back as though it has better places to be, his long arms and torso more toned then they were when Victor arrived last month, at last coming to rest on Yuuri’s face...which is twisted into such a frustrated shape that it looks painful. Forehead scrunched, eyes closed tight, mouth in such a straight line that you cannot even see the plump lips that Victor knows are there. This contorted face is so different from the rest of his body that Victor feels as though he has been suddenly dunked in the cold waters of the Fontanka river back home.

The opening strains of the song begin, gentle and sultry, and Yuuri’s face smooths out into the sexy smirk Victor had expected. Victor lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, relieved that the strangeness of that moment seems to have passed. The beginning of this piece is his favorite part of the choreography, and Victor can still remember the thrill of it during the exposition performance. Feeling Yuuri look directly at him and only him with a confidence that had not been seen before. Yuuri opens his eyes and Victor can feel his body prepare itself to be looked at...and then Yuuri looks at a spot just slightly over his left shoulder. Victor stares incredulously as Yuuri speeds over the ice, performing each step and spin with beautiful precision and ease...and dead eyes. Eyes that stare out into the abyss and see nothing. Yes, his body is still moving seductively, but Victor wants more than his body damn it - he wants everything. He wants Yuuri to dance _his_ choreography and bring it _life_ and _passion_ and _this is not right!_

Victor reaches over angrily and cuts the music off. When Yuuri continues the program as though he didn’t even notice the music is gone, Victor's blood pressure ratchets up another notch. Had he not even been listening to the song?

Yuuri?” He called out. Nothing. Louder. “Yuuuuri!

Yuuri launches into the quadruple salchow and makes it, shakily and sloppily, but without falling. Great. Fabulous. Annoying. The dead eyes are still there and Victor hates them with every fiber of his being.

“YURI KATSUKI STOP SKATING RIGHT NOW! _IDI, SYUDA”_ _(come here!)_

Apparently the Russian is enough to snap Yuuri out of his stupor, since he skids to a halt and looks up at Victor like a deer in the headlights. Then he looks around like he is just discovering where he is, just realizing the music has stopped. Once again his shoulders curl inwards and his head drops to the floor, and Victor immediately feels remorseful. Clearly, something is very wrong.

“Come here Yuuri” He says in a gentle voice, “come talk to me.”

Yuuri shakily skates over, trying to remember what he just did. It must have been Eros, he remembers getting into position for it. Deep, practiced breaths help the shaking slow, but not stop. He hasn’t blanked out like that since nationals last year, after he botched the grand prix so badly. Yuuri had been so scared to skate again that he simply thought of something else while his body completed the movements that had been drilled into him in practice. It seemed like a good idea the first few times, but of course didn’t work, since many of the jumps required intense concentration and control over every muscle to make sure everything goes as it should. Often he would find himself snapping out of it with a sharp pain in his hip as he found himself laying on the cold ice in the middle of a program. The memories made him shudder as he sits down on the bench across from Victor, still staring at the floor.

“Yuuri, are you ok?” Victor asks him, sounding entirely too sweet and concerned for his thoughtless, strange student.

“Yes! Everything is fine, I apologize. I was just not thinking. I will do it right this time. _Benkai no yochiganai_. (I have no excuse).”

Still staring at the floor, Yuuri gets up to return to the ice, only to feel a warm hand on his shoulder push him back down onto the bench. Finally looking up, he sees Victor looking at him with his sparkling blue eyes narrowed. Yuuri knows that look all too well by now. It means that Victor has seen through his facade, and isn’t having it.

“Maybe it would do us well to talk about the program first. Remind ourselves what it is about eh? Tell me Yuuri…” Victor hesitates and tilts his head, looking at the younger man like a puzzle that needs to be solved. “What were you thinking the night of the exposition that resulted in such an intense performance. What did you finally find to be your true eros?”

Yuuri gulps and feels his face turn five shades of red. He isn’t ready for this. He is still processing the words from the beach, and has pushed that performance and the thoughts which led to it into a small space in the back of his mind where all such thoughts lie. Letting them out again could be dangerous at this point. _What do you want me to be to you?_ his mind teases him, and he lets out a small uncontrollable yelp. His eyes dart back to the space between his skates, and his body curls in on itself. Yuuri learned a long time ago that if you make yourself small, the bigger feelings cannot get in and bother you. He can feel his breaths shortening and his chest tighten, and wishes he can run away.

But he can’t. Victor is here in front of him, waiting for his answer with poise and patience and trust. Unending trust that he expects Yuuri to return. This time his head begins to echo different words from yesterday. Warm words that make him feel complete.

_You are not weak Yuuri._

_Why didn’t you tell me, I am your coach, aren’t I?_

_I won’t let you off easy, That’s my way of showing my love_

And perhaps most importantly Yuuri hears his own words, words he had decided on firmly in bed just the night before.

_When I open up, he meets me where I am. I should not be afraid to open up more._

Yuuri focuses on the feeling of connecting with Victor through their words yesterday, he imagines the cool breeze tossing Victor's silver hair around his face, the seagulls and the ocean mist, and the feeling of rightness when he finally told Victor that he had always been fascinated by him in all ways. It was freeing to admit to it, and somehow Victor hadn’t booked the next flight back to Russia. He had instead smiled, and said he would not let Yuuri off easy. It was ok that he liked Victor, and Victor liked him back, at least enough to help coach him to be the best he could be. It would be ok.

With those memories inside him, Yuuri is finally able to take a deep breath, and look up to find Victor is still patiently awaiting an answer, waiting for Yuuri to work out whatever is bothering him. Yuuri has to reward that patience with honesty, or he knows that it will eventually run out.

“I was thinking about you.” he mumbles, eyes slipping back down to his gloved hands for safety. A slight intake of breath and the rustling of Victors jacket as he leans forward are the only indicators he has of a response, but since it is not yelling or running away he is determined to tell the whole tale. With another breath he looks up into Victor’s eyes and is shocked to find a mix of joy and fascination there. This gives him the courage to continue.

“When I heard the music the first time, I could see an entire tale in my head. A playboy who seduces the town beauty. I knew that the seduction was what you were looking for, but I could not find it in myself to be the playboy. Everytime I so much as thought the word, I could only see you in the role, making everyone in the audience swoon. I could only picture you standing in my family onsen that first day, bare and alluring, convincing me to allow you to coach me. I was helpless before you. That was when I realized there were two people in the story, the playboy and the woman he was seducing. That was me - I was the one you were seducing. Suddenly I felt right in that role, it fit me, but it still didn’t solve my problem. What eros does the person being pursued feel? What do they want?”

Yuuri hesitated. This is the hardest part of the admission, the part that makes his mind go fuzzy with wanting to disassociate. Luckily, Victor is here to pull him back into the story. With a slight shake of the shoulder that his hand is still on he urges Yuuri forward.

“Well” Victor breathed, “What do they want?” _What do you want from me?_

“To be wanted” Yuuri whispered it, but maintained eye contact hoping that he could trust Victor’s trust. “And not just for a day, but forever. The woman needs to seduce the playboy to stay with her, because she likes the feeling of being wanted by him. She does not want that feeling, or the man, to go away.”

Yuuri knows that he said it with far too much fervor to simply be retelling a small tale that he made up, but the joy in Victor’s eyes has not faded, so he continues to the inevitable truth.

“I realized as Yurio was skating his program that if I lost, you would leave. I do not want you to leave, I want to keep working with you and eating with you and getting to know you, so I knew I would have to seduce you to stay with me. That is what I was thinking during that performance.”

Victor knows that his grip on Yuuri’s shoulder is too tight, but it is taking everything he has not to haul the other man into his arms and tell him how proud he is. The Yuuri looking at him right now has his shoulders pulled back, and a daring glint in his glowing brown eyes that shouts defiance at anyone who would challenge his words. Victor will not be the one to challenge him. He could not be happier right now. He wants to stay with Yuuri, but only if Yuuri wants him exactly this much, and is willing to fight by his side. That was the agreement they had made at the beach the other day. Yuuri would skate his best, and Victor would coach his best, and neither would give the other room for being less than the finest they could be. Perhaps that is true about their personal relationship as well. What an amazing development.

Victor smiles and nods, knowing that what Yuuri needs right now is reassurance that what he feels is right.

“That is perfect Yuuri! That is exactly what you should have done, find a way to relate the piece to you and to how you feel. True art can only come from the purest of feelings.”

Victor leans in closer, not enough to fluster the man with attraction, but enough to make his words more sincere. “I am so proud that you are able to be so honest with yourself, and with me. Thank you”.

The look of admiration and confirmation on Yuuri’s face must be reflected back from his own expression, and they just sit there a minute, drinking the other person in. It would be easy right now to lean forward and kiss the other man, but there is a lot that still has been unsaid, and during working hours is not the time to say it. Victor reaches out take both Yuuri’s hands in his own, smirking at the brief look of surprise that crosses the other man’s face before hauling him up off the bench to stand. As much as he wants too, he does not initiate any further physical contact. He simply nods, and asks,

“Are you ready to perform the piece properly now, in the way that only my Yuuri can?”

Yuuri nods, one sharp, confident move of his head, and grins in a way that makes Victor’s heart feel strange. Victor very much wants to see this interpretation of his choreography, only this time he will understand what is happening, what is making Yuuri feel strong and sexy and confident. It is him. Who would have thought. Perhaps he can regain some control over this strange twinge in his heart by pushing Yuuri just a little farther. He did promise to bring out the best in his student, didn’t he?

Right as Yuuri is about to turn around to step back on the ice Victor loosens his hands, but instead of letting go he repositions them so his long, delicate fingers are wrapped around Yuuri’s wrists, lingering on the pulse point. Yuuri feels his breath catch and his face turn pink. However, this time, as Victor leans in to whisper in his ear, Yuuri takes in a deep breath of the other man’s scent, leaning into the situation rather than pulling away. If Victor is surprised, Yuuri cannot tell because he is too busy being in heaven.

Victor whispers into his ear in a low voice “Seduce me, Yuuri. I told you yesterday, if you want me to be yours, you have to try harder - show me how good you can be, my Yuuri.”

Victor pulls back, but Yuuri stays in place a moment longer, reveling in the feeling of being wanted. _My Yuuri._ When he looks up at Victor, it it through his eyelashes, and he maintains the eye contact over his shoulder as his body moves toward the center of the ice. _My Yuuri._ Yuuri swivels his body into position, feeling Victor’s eyes on every inch of him, encouraging him to bend his knee a bit more so more thigh is showing, and his back arches even further. _My Yuuri._ As his eyes flutter closed the words that have been haunting him all day repeat once more, except this time, he has found an answer.

_“What do you want me to be to you?” Victor asks._

_“My Victor” replies Yuuri._

The music starts, and Yuuri does his best to make his wish come true.

As soon as Yuuri looks up at him through his eyelashes Victor can tell something has changed, and cannot deny it is for the better. Victor reaches down blindly to press play as soon as Yuuri is in place because he cannot physically look away from the man, who seems to have turned into a witch, an enchantress, a seductress. Once again the opening chords play; only this time Yuuri’s body sways as though it is the guitar itself, being plucked by expert hands. When Yuuri opens his eyes he looks directly into Victor's soul and it is a punch to the gut that sends heat throughout his body. This magical creature on the ice wants him, and he is powerless to say no. Then Yuuri speeds off to show the whole crowd what he can do, leaving Victor feeling bereft and abandoned.

It is then that Victor realizes it is going to be a very long, very wonderful season.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. This is the only scene that was really bothering me, but if you feel there are other canon scenes that are swept under the rug let me know and I can try to write them. I did enjoy doing this :) Feel free to leave comment or message me!
> 
> Edit: I wrote this after episode 5. In the very next episode Victor actually calls him "My Yuuri", Yuuri acts out eros as himself AND realizes that he has to skate good enough for both his fans and victors fans. Do I win something?
> 
> Sorry if the tenses are a mess, like I said I am not actually a professional writer, and I tend to prefer past tense so I had to go back and redo everything to present tense after I had written it. I also use the passive voice a lot, but that's too bad because I love it. ;p


End file.
